Ding Dong!

Maybe it's the 'roid rage from the fresh batch of sinus infection meds making me extra crabby but to me THIS:

is pretty self-explanatory.  You'd think the sign would be a dead give-away that solicitors aren't going to come face-to-face with a smiling sweetiepoo if they attempt to hawk their wares on my doorstep.  (Besides, I just blew all my extra pocket money on Disneyland churros last week so I can't afford your newspapers/candy bars/church views/magazines-for-recovering-teenage-alcoholics anyway!) Ya can't miss the sign. So don't look so shocked and offended, Baci Italian Bistro employee who solicits where there is very obviously NO SOLICITING ALLOWED, when I explain to you that the reason I don't want to buy gift cards for your restaurant (you asked why!) really IS that I have eaten there, and yes, your food and your service truly do both suck.

At least THAT got rid of her quick.

Given that this is the THIRD apparently illiterate person in the last two months to push that little button maybe it's time I pulled out my OLD sign.  It might be easier to comprehend:

Fine. I at least like SOME things about the holidays.

Behold, an agnostic's reason for the season!  And why I'll have to buy all new scrubs come January.

And our other holiday purchase:

I may just leave it up all year.

Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant.

The garden is growing.  This is the point where I get really excited and post pictures of the cute little plants.  And then I lose interest as they get bigger and aren't as adorable (much like some people do with puppies and children) and I forget to weed and prune and our backyard ends up looking like an overgrown lot instead of a garden.  But for now here are the cute little plants.  Before they start talking smack, eating me out of house and home and demanding the latest iPod.

Lettuce.

Tomatoes. (Duh.)

Sunflowers.  (I think the one in the middle of the picture is on the 'roids.)

Strawberries are to the left, the only survivors from Garden Version 1.0

You know what's weird?  For the first time in forever I had no interest in Halloween.  Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting old and cranky and I should soon look into getting an AARP membership.  This year I just wanted to sit in my jammies and watch trash TV (the Kardashians!  Kim is getting divorced!  I KNEW IT!) instead of scraping stringy glop out of squash and throwing candy at children.  (Although actually throwing candy at children does sound kind of fun.) We did end up taking Emma out trick-or-treating with some friends and their kids but I'm glad it's over.  Not quite ready for Christmas either.  It seems like these holidays just keep coming and I haven't yet recovered from last year.  Didn't we JUST do this?  I don't want to get started on gift-buying expectation crap.  You know what I'm talking about.  A friend buys Emma something so I feel obligated to spend something on their kid, or the neighbors drop off homemade cinnamon rolls FROM SCRATCH so then I need to make something NOT out of a container that pops when you twist it open - which means I have to brave the grocery store, where the aisles are small and the holiday crowds make me even more homicidal than I normally am - and then deliver my burned treats and make small-talk with a bunch of neighbors I would rather just not deal with anyway. (I'm THAT neighbor.)  Holidays in Gilbert, Arizona are some kind of contest to see who can be the most AWESOME and Holly Homemaker at gift-giving.  I don't home-make anything normal (see previous post of Dudley the kidney pillow).  And the money spent.  UGH.  I had someone in the past call me up out of the blue and specifically request that I give them cash instead of giving them gifts that year.  Um.  Ok.  I do LOVE giving a good present to someone I think will appreciate it, I just don't think everyone need EXPECT one from me.  Nurses do not make big bucks people; we get pooped/vomited/bled/breastmilked on for the sheer fun of it, not for the money.  There need to be clear-cut rules on who you should have to get shit for and who you don't have to but there is no Minister of Christmas so this stuff is all up in the air AND IT MAKES ME ANXIOUS AND STABBY.  I'm getting worked up even typing this crap out.

Ok, so I just did a search and found something that I could maybe make homemade.  You know, to deliver my delicious blackened Christmas treats in.

http://www.coolest-homemade-costumes.com/coolest-grinch-costume.html

That will make my holidays decidedly better.