Meh

Well today's test is the same. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing things and that there's nothing there.

So I'll wait a few days to do it again.

In the meantime, enjoy this video of an ostrich dancing to Celtic music:

Ostrich video

Oy.

I went back to work last night and have to admit it was wonderful getting back with the babies and my hilarious coworkers. So when I got home this morning I did the inevitable. I took a home pregnancy test. Now here's the deal. I'm 11 days past "trigger" today, and the HCG from that is supposed to be out of your system after ten. It's also ridiculously early to be testing but I just couldn't help myself.

I, uh, got the faintest of double pink lines. Like so faint you have to hold it in direct sunlight to see it, but it's there and it's pink. This wasn't nice concentrated "morning pee" either, so really, if it gets darker tomorrow when I (of course) repeat this event then I know I'm on a good track to being really WITH CHILD.

I could be pregnant.

But I could not, because it *could* be leftover trigger.

But wheeeeee I could be pregnant.

Or not.

So really, I'm exactly where I was before I peed on that stick.

I'll keep you posted tomorrow.

Waiting waiting waiting

Lots of cramping today. Hopefully that's a good thing, since they should be implanting themselves soon.

In the meantime, this is how I feel:

Please pass the super glue

Well I'm pregnant, technically.

How many did we put in?

Three.

Because we're insane.

I remember making a very similar blog post five years ago, triumphantly announcing that we were pregnant with triplets. But I'm not about to be so excited this time, because none of those took. But our grades were better this time - Bs - even though, to me, the pictures make the embryos look a lot more fragmented than they are. Dr. Troche said that it's the way they were in focus for the pictures that makes it hard to see all the good cells in there. Given my age and the fact that our last one didn't take, the embryologist recommended we put in three. The overachiever now 10-cell, and two 8-cell embryos are currently sitting in my uterus. The remaining four are still in the lab and if they grow until day 5 they will be frozen.

And since you asked (didn't you?) here is a picture of what daily progesterone-in-oil injections do to my sensitive little (HEY) hiney:

Objects may be smaller than they appear.

I'll be on bed rest for three days, really just for my own sanity so I won't think I did anything to make them not stick if this doesn't work. I've also decided, with my vast medical knowledge obtained at my local community college, that eating extra chocolate right now can't hurt because these children are related to Emma, which means they will be more inclined to stick around if there's junk food involved.

In the meantime, I'm amusing myself but choosing horrible baby names. Eilonwy, Egbert, and Efharis (Bueller) are my current E favorites.

Here comes a fun ten days before we find out.

(The one at the very top is the ten-cell, and it was transferred as well, as a last-minute decision.)

1st quarter grades

Today we still have 7 embryos growing. Last time we had three "D" grade embryos and implanted all three. (Obviously none took.) The embryologist grades by fragmentation, and then we also look at how fast or slow the embryos are dividing. We have:

3 2-cell embryos, 1 B and 2 C's

3 4-cell embryos, 2 B+ (these could turn into A's tomorrow, maybe they still have extra credit to turn in) and 1 C+

1 6-cell embryo, B grade

Tomorrow we'll meet with Dr. Troche to talk about how many to transfer, and to look at pictures, and the transfer procedure is scheduled for 11:30.

I am a nervous wreck.

Babeeeez

So out of the 13 eggs 10 were mature and got ICSI'ed (sperm injected into them) and 7 of those are growing normally today. That's more than double what we had last time (three eggs grew) so I am OVER THE MOON. The norm is that around 50% will grow appropriately.

I'll get another report tomorrow with the grading of our little ducks and chicks.

I can't believe we're this far!

(This is not a picture of ours but an example of what a normally developing 1-day embryo looks like.)

Baker's dozen

Friday: The trigger shot

Saturday: No needles!  Yay!

Today:

Embryo retrieval this morning.

We got 13 eggs!!! 

Got me a nice Propofol/Fentanyl nap (plus Versed, since I guess I was doing another little anesthesia freakout on another very nice anesthesiologist, whoopsie) and they jammed a bunch of long needles in each ovary and hoovered out the contents of each follicle. I'm not in any pain now, just tired and crampy so I'm laying around watching horrible vampire movies on ABC Family while I sleep off my drugs. We'll find out tomorrow how many of those 13 were mature, and how many are growing. They thawed out Chad's donation this morning and informed us that they were nice and wiggly. They should have already injected one sperm into each mature egg at this point. There could be 13 Corinne/Chad hybrids growing in petri dishes right now. What a scary thought.

Still cautiously optimistic, but things are looking ok. My prolactin levels are suddenly high, so they've put me on a medication to take that down so that implantation won't be affected. Now we begin steroids and progesterone shots every morning as well. Just another drug regimen, la dee dah.

Can't wait to hear tomorrow's embryo growth report.

We have liftoff

Today's ovarian update:

10 follicles are the right size for retrieval, so I will be triggering tonight, and then Sunday morning at 7:30 retrieval begins. Each follicle could have zero to 2 eggs in it, and the smaller follicles seen (I have a total of 16 now) could do anything between now and Sunday, so how many mature eggs we'll end up with is still a mystery. But I am absolutely thrilled about making it to this point. I actually get a break from giant needles tomorrow and then on Sunday I'll switch to an oil-based progesterone shot. In my butt. With a huge needle. Well huge to me, since I work with needles used on children the size of hamsters. I've already lectured these future Chad/Corinne hybrids that they'd better all behave Sunday. DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE, EGGS.

Please keep your hands, feet and objects in the vehicle at all times

Well this is a fun roller coaster.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday all found us driving to Glendale (about a zillion miles away from where we live) for ultrasounds, blood work, consults and sperm retrievals. Chad's part went great. Without typing the word "sperm" too much, let's just say that there were lots of perfectly viable gametes saved from a lifetime of swimming in the pool. I, on the other hand, have traitor ovaries, just like last time. I'm not quite responding to the Follistim the way Dr. Troche would like me to: my eggs just aren't getting big enough to "trigger" and get ready for retrieval. Today we went in again, with low hopes, and saw that really, they weren't growing much. Doc was wonderful and sweet and kind but basically said if my estrogen level didn't increase much we would be stopping. We could try again next month. (YEAH RIGHT, with what money please?) So this afternoon I spent a lot of time crying, feeling that we were just wasting our time and money, until we got a call saying that my estrogen had almost DOUBLED since just yesterday. I started out with a level of less than 20 (thank you birth control), went to 220's, then 600's, 900's yesterday and 1600 today. That means that my follicles should be doing some major growth here, so we're going to continue with two more days of shots (hello, money hemorrhaging) and recheck everything Friday. I'm really going two days past where he's usually comfortable stimming, but my cycle is normally so looooong anyway (I'm a late bloomer) maybe this is my norm. Who knows. But we're not giving up yet.

So there you are.

I would rather be riding California Screaming at Disneyland right now, but maybe this oh-so-special fertility roller coaster will all be worth it.

Need lots of crossed fingers please.

Yolo

Drove a thousand miles this morning to Glendale in rainy rush hour (awesome, since Arizonans freak the hell out when water starts falling from the sky, AND Alice my GPS guide kept telling me at the very last second to cross three lanes of traffic and exit during all of this, thanks for the advance notice ALICE) to the fertility doc this morning. Ultrasound showed eight follicles on the right (I knew I felt fatter there!) and four on the left. Last time I only had five, so this is quite an improvement. Still slightly small, but my body takes a little longer in the stimulation phase (shut up, Chad) so that's not a big deal. Might need to be on Follistim a few days longer than anticipated. Uterus looked good, and twelve is a perfect number. (Perfect for a scramble, as Dr. Troche said.) I return on Sunday for another check.

Interjection!

You must know that I just jumped up from my computer to scream and yell at Mother Nature, because I hear HAIL. And I literally just took these pictures ten minutes ago and I hope they are still standing:

I was doing the same yelling thing at five this morning when I heard rain on the window. It rains like five times a year in Arizona and it had to be on the day that we're supposed to get this finished:

Anyone want to go swimming?

Can you believe how small our backyard is? The last house had a much larger one so it will be an adjustment. Plus we are super smart and made the pool extra large so it takes up the whole yard. I will still find a way to cram lots of gardening space in there, you can bet.

Off to bed, work tonight!

Still here....

Yesterday I added another injection to my morning o' fun. So now that's two injections, precisely at 0830. (We use military time in this house, of course.)

300 units of Follistim: (Makes me produce a bunch of eggs, much like a sea turtle, as Chad has so romantically suggested.)

 

 

Followed by 250 mcg of Ganirelix. (Makes it so I don't ovulate.)

 



The shots don't hurt (I actually don't feel them at all because I am a nurse and I am AWESOME) but sometimes the drugs will sting after they are injected. I've had a day or two of massive cramps, but other than that....not much. I am feeling fatter than I did before the injections started, but this could be attributed to the excess girl scout cookies around here. Which are no longer in excess because they keep forcing themselves down my throat.

We go for an ultrasound tomorrow, to see what my ovaries are doing and do a follicle count, and then Chad gets his little swimmers chopped out on Monday. Should have an egg retrieval early next week if all goes well and then I could possibly be knocked up by the end of next week.

AND the pool dudes are supposed to show up and dig a big hole in the backyard today FINALLY.

Busy busy.

Today's drug menu:

I ended up getting the teensiest needles EVER for the Follistim pen, and they are awesome. If I was a crackhead these would totally be my needle of choice.

Today was day two of injections, I'm already starting to feel a little tired and moody and some strange left hip pain and swelling (I have no idea what that's about) but other than that there seems to be a lot fewer side effects than the Lupron/Menopur combo I used the last time we did this. I'm going to blame today's mommy/daughter meltdown on my kid turning into a teenager and not the result of me shooting hamster hormones into my belly fat.

Let's get this party started

Dear FedEx: When a signature is REQUIRED for delivery of $3000 worth of fertility meds, it's usually not a good idea to play dingdongditch and dump the box on the doorstep instead of obtaining the signature, especially when the recipient is hormonal, sleep-deprived and feeling generally crabby. I'm so glad I was home, 'cause some of that stuff needed to go into the fridge. (Not so glad that I had finally fallen asleep for the first time in a  few days and the doorbell woke me up.)

Got my meds today. Follistim, Ganirelix, and HCG.

Followup ultrasound showed that the cyst shrunk down to 11 mm, small enough for us to proceed. My estrogen level was perfect. I quit birth control pills two days ago and start injections tomorrow.

Here we go!

Come on ovaries, BEHAVE.