Well it's not like there's anything going on around here, anyway.
Except that we're moving in a month. And that Chad is back from Iraq. Oh and that we went to Disneyland. (Trick-or-treating at Disneyland = expensive but fun!) I guess I could mention that Halloween has come and gone and that Chad is turning thirty-five this week. (OLD!) I'm also going back to work full-time. We're planning on doing in vitro again in February. Emma has started private flute lessons and is getting quite good and starting to enjoy herself at it.
So that's it.
Not a ton of things happening here AT ALL.
Surprisingly, I think Chad's being back at home has been harder on me than on him. I expected him to have to adjust a little more but he seems to have picked right up where he left off really well. (He is currently blasting Guitar Hero in the family room. Goodbye silent house!) He was off of work for a month before he FINALLY went back last week. (Love you darling!) His constant need to plan out my day was making me a little bonkers. He's been used to a life of routine for the last year, and I've been used to sending Emma off to school and sleeping all day, since I've stayed up every night for the last year worrying or working. Gone are my days of laying around in my pajamas until two in the afternoon and dozing on the couch while trash TV plays in the background. Attempting to be non-comatose during daylight hours all of a sudden has been a bit of a challenge for me, since all Chad wants to do while he's home is PLAY PLAY PLAY and SPEND SPEND SPEND. He also felt the need to know exactly where I was at all times and what I was doing every second of the day but after he started following me to the bathroom we had a have a little talk about that. He's used to playing Mr. In Charge with a bunch of underling soldiers who actually did have to report to him every time their bladders needed attention but I ever-so-gently reminded him that he needed to BACK OFF and that I could really handle THAT on my own, thank you.
Seriously, it is really nice to have him back home. I kinda love the guy.
Emma has been on cloud nine, a different kid altogether since he's come home. Her sense of humor has returned, and my worries about her sinking into depression at age ten have disappeared. I knew that the deployment was hard on her, but now that I see the difference in her I truly understand just how difficult it was to have her daddy gone. Which leads us to the next topic. The taboo topic. The topic I'm not supposed to bring up because it might make someone feel uncomfortable. Or that someone reading this might know my ex. But WHATEVER, this is not a NICEY NICE BLOG. It wouldn't be my blog if it were. So here goes. Her birth father hasn't called ONCE in the nearly two months that Chad has been home. I'm at a loss about how to deal with this at all. Do I call him and yell at him for abandoning yet ANOTHER one of his offspring? (He has a twelve year-old "secret" son that nobody is supposed to know about, one that he never sees because it would ruin his facade of being the victim in our divorce. Oops! Spilled the beans!) I've benignly asked Emma a few times whether she wanted to call her dad, and she's flat out told me NO, and the other day when I asked her again she responded that she didn't think he cared about her. I did tell her that it isn't on her to be the responsible one or to make sure they have contact, but that her dad does care about her and sometimes he makes mistakes. This, of course, is completely at odds with what my brain is doing, which is imagining punching the dude in sensitive areas for putting my baby through this. HOW do I handle this? At what point do I just give up on the guy? I texted him once about an issue that Sonora Quest was having with his insurance carrier but he never texted me back.
Maybe he's dead?
Anyway, so happy things!
Here are some photos of the last two months to catch you up:
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