Here comes the sun

Finally underwriting approval is IN.

Now I can shop! And pack! And shop! 

Big relief, seriously. We had two short sales three years ago right before Chad deployed (rental house that went south and then our primary residence WAY far away from child care while he was gone) so it hasn't been an easy process to convince an underwriter to give us another mortgage. Thank you, Veteran's Administration. Now I can allow myself to get excited about my new fireplace at Christmas time. And about all the room we'll have for in vitro babies, a process that will be attempted in about two-three months when we move. If we can't have another baby that way we've decided to adopt.

Lots of finally.

I'm not going to lie, the last few years have been really tough on our little family.

It seemed that every time we've started to pick ourselves up, another problem reared up. Two foot surgeries. A deployment to Iraq. Discovering Chad's back is trashed. Emma's dad completely disappearing from her life for absolutely no reason that I can figure out. A few big health scares, some of which we're still working through. But today I finally took my RNC-NIC test, the big certification exam for NICU nurses. And I'll get my BSN next June. And we'll finally get a home of our own again, and not be at the mercy of whatever crappy (or currently, completely awesome) landlord we happen to be renting a house from. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, because I'm vividly aware that it could be so much worse. Chad and I have a strong marriage. We're best friends, and I know a lot of couples who can't claim that. He's a FABULOUS daddy to Emma. (What step dad saves his GI bill for his stepdaughter to use for college? An awesome one!) We still have jobs, we're financially stable. But it's been hard, especially with the in vitro thing. Seems like every time we got ready to do it a deployment or a foot surgery or ANOTHER foot surgery got in the way. It's hard to want a child with your spouse so desperately every day, especially when you're in the line of work that I am, and not be able to have one. People really take for granted their ability to get pregnant, and I never realized it until I couldn't get pregnant myself. And I don't want to hear any BS about how I should be satisfied because I already have one. It doesn't take away the pain of not being able to share a pregnancy and a newborn with the one spouse who truly deserves it.

So anyway, I think some good things are finally starting to happen to us, and I'm thrilled that the sun is finally shining.