Christmas is over and it's time for dreaded 2010 resolutions. Except that I don't care to make resolutions since I most likely won't follow through with them, so here's a list of GOALS for 2010:
1. Get myself knocked up. In-vitro. Just once more. If it doesn't work, I'm throwing in the towel and getting a fainting goat. Take that, uterus! I'll have to wait for Military Man to return from Iraq for this one. I'm not taking on a month of shots in the ass, pregnancy, a nine year-old, two surgeries, a full-time night job and a deployment all at once. I'm sure some woman even more insane than me out there has done it, but I'm saying no thanks, even though what I need from him *is* still frozen in Tucson.
2. Remove size 13 kids socks stuffed into jeans before chucking them in the wash. White socks + dark blue load of laundry = exceeded sock budget.
3. Learn to sew.
*snort* Yeah, right.
4. Find a new house. One where I can legally have livestock. (Aaaand we're back to the fainting goats.) I would also prefer one that isn't haunted. Taking out the Mag 44 (is that what it was? not entirely sure) and laying it on the nightstand may have made me *feel* safer a few nights ago, but I'm fairly certain it won't work on ghosts. Plus - minor detail - I'd have to know how to actually use it.
5. Stop yelling at people in traffic. I know they can't hear me. Yet I still do it. This has topped the resolution list for the past few years. (See blurb about how I never keep resolutions.)
6. Quit smoking. Of course this would mean that I had actually taken UP smoking at some point in my life.....but I wanted to put one thing on this list that is actually attainable. So yay me! Already accomplished one goal and it's only the first of the year.
7. Abstain from changing a certain Boston Terrier's name to various swearwords. This one is going to be difficult, since I'm positive that Sadie will do more than a few things this year to deserve it.
8. Exercise! Um, this may also deserve a "yeah right" but really! I'm going to try. Ok, I'm not. Let's just be honest. Putting it on my list is enough effort all by itself.
At the close of 2010 we'll go back to this list and see how many I've actually done. This year is going to be a good one, I can just feel it.
Lawdy. I hope it's a better year. I sure can't handle worse!
ReplyDeleteI'll help you with the sewing resolution. You just name the day, sister. I'll be here. It's not like I can go anywhere :)
What? Does this mean I shouldn't get the 'Road Rage Princess' bumper sticker for you that I saw in traffic the other day?
ReplyDeleteAlso, congrats on quitting smoking! And everyone says it's so hard... you did it in one day!
ALSO, I hope that the declaration that you will buy a fainting goat has nothing to do with the following "Take that, uterus!". Getting a fainting goat should have nothing to do with your uterus. I'm pretty sure you can't gestate a fainting goat. On the behalf of Science - I apologize. The Biologists should get their crap together already! And while we're on the subject, Biologists, I would like a cat with wings. Chimeristrate already!
I swear...the more I read the stronger my abdominal muscles get! Thanks for helping me attain my daily fitness goal!!! Friggin hysterical you are my dear
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